Today I am grateful for
- Having fewer things
Today I am looking forward to
- David Marc cat hangout
- We Work session with Lillian
Month: October 2021
Appreciated moment:
Putting away camping stuff with E
Learned today:
Feeling progress is key to happiness/less stress
Enjoyed today:
Late Japanese meal with E
Today I am grateful for
- New toothbrush! + Routine
- Fam Joshua tree trip
- Waking up early and feeling good
- Rainy evenings
Today I am looking forward to
- Trying Qigong
- Another rainy day
Appreciated moment:
20 minute stretch session with M
Learned today:
I’m a gambler 🪙
Enjoyed today:
Sitting by the fire in the evening, listening to new music
Today I am grateful for
- Joseph Goldstein teachings
- Murakami nails
- Being aware of how I treat others
Today I am looking forward to
- Seeing Cody and fam
- Seeing Mike and julie
pressure from all points
prickling, pleading, pinning
busy and bustling
kicking the calm
a trying introvert
flailing and failing
someone else is in the house
quiet and subtle
leaving traces
of pitted stomachs
and stolen trust
i want to be alone with my lover
but am caught up with the world
inside and out
of my flat
of my mind
creating distance
but from the wrong things
and for the wrong reasons
some things i want to say to you
but i can’t
Randomly roaming around I come upon a celebration of sorts – the best kind of travel is unplanned in my opinion. Large menacing mask, children swarming all around. Looks like they are picking up candy. He looks unapproachable depending on what side of him you are on. You can get on his good side – behind him and feel protected by those big, sharp teeth. You can get on his bad side – in front and feel scared of those same big,sharp teeth. Can’t help but wonder what’s his story? Those little skulls on his head are cute. I don’t ask because I’m too shy and unwilling to struggle with the awkwardness of unknown language, of meeting a new human in a foreign land. What’s that thing sticking out of his mouth? He looks like he’s smoking a joint he doesn’t like. I chuckle to myself. I guess I’ll never know… I keep walking – avoiding eye contact. Maybe I will look back on the picture I took of him later and wish that I had asked a fellow human.
The author and I have many similarities, she is the eldest daughter and although she was brought to her new country as baby and I was born here, our mothers both emigrated from their countries as young, new mothers due to political oppression.
My mother tongue, the language my mother spoke when she had me is Vietnamese. And I know how to write, read, and speak it, however, I speak an overly formal and sometimes awkward version of it that I did not know was awkward until I went to Vietnam and heard others speaking. The formality and awkwardness of it is a reflection of my relationship with my parents as child. The first stanza reminds me of this fact. And although my execution of it is awkward, I still find Vietnamese beautiful as there are many words and phrases that have no English translation for me, i truly connect to it.
The second stanza really reminds me of how my mom always told me when I was around ten years old that if I were living in Vietnam, I would know how to cook rice by now – because I am a girl. And she would try to teach me how to cook traditional Vietnamese dishes, but the recipe never had clear measurements, just a little bit of this and a pinch of that. I’ve never been able to produce my mom’s fish sauce dip – it always turns out too sour or too sweet.Â
Third stanza – as a child I spoke only Vietnamese to my mom so I always felt she understood my words. However, growing up in Western culture in a Vietnamese household left a lot of room for misunderstanding. Not in my words, but in my values and how I wanted to act on those values. I was never allowed to wear the latest fashions because they were too revealing, I had to lie to go to prom or even to hangout with my friends at the park. It always had to be school related. I was constantly shouting, “Mama, I want to be normal” – but she simply would not and could not understand me.
https://sandjournal.com/one-poem-two-translations/Â (Links to an external site.)
  Prompt 1: “rewrite/translate the poem” – loose
  Prompt 2: Write about being misunderstood as a child