Letters to a Robot

Dear Robot,

I think I’ve been looking at life and time all wrong.  I’ve been trying to look for stability, for answers, for understanding of the deeper meaning of life.  I’m unhappy when things shift, when they change and I figure out that I have not figured it out.  But I need to just be okay with this constant shifting.  Our key moments in life do not stand still.  You get a job, start making money, become stable – a whole slew of problems will be there to change you for better or for worse.  You think you’re done when you get married?  Now you have a marriage to go through that can change you for better or for worse.  You think you’re done with you have your first child, you have to raise that child and that will change you.  You think your child is off to college and you’re done, you’ll live happily ever after, you’ve accomplished all of life’s goals – then you have a midlife crisis.  These moments of shifting can sometimes cause us to react in stupid, immature, and immoral ways.

People get unahappy when their mate changes.  They feel disconnected, they feel  scared because they don’t know the person anymore, they feel disappointed, they feel hurt and tricked.  All of life’s trials and tribulations are thrown at you when you have to so closely connect with someone else, but the main thing is if you are open to really getting to know the person as they change and as you grow, you may have a lot more to learn than to try to live in a static relationship with a static person which is an unrealistic expectation anyway.

A friend of mine delicately reminded me today, these pivotal slump moments of change may make or break a relationship that is worth holding onto – it’s easier to go find something new than to face something old and unfamiliar.  However, time spent and the bond you have should matter for something.  I wish I had understood this when I was younger.  Maybe P and I would still be together.  Maybe not.  I admit that I screwed that one up, but I’m glad we found ways to grow together.

Now that I know this, I think it’ll make me move forward in life more complacent with change with my person now who I don’t intend to ever move on from if I can help it.  Maybe the problem now is if we don’t change.

-ed