wow, lucky numbers day today.
something new i’ve been doing is not filling my shower time with podcast noise. kind of drew this from the concept of the morning pages from the artist’s way. didn’t love the book, but thought the act of just writing anything and everything to free up your mind of the ‘little’ things was helpful. so i’m just letting my mind run in the shower — think random thoughts, process random things. get that out of the way before the day starts. and not really be too concerned about documenting any of it. stream of consciousness.
living in sacramento has helped me understand my mom more. when i see her place i get frustrated sometimes about how randomly put together it looks sometimes. but i have to realize that when she came here she had nothing and whatever thing she could get, she worked with it to the best of her ability and her joy came from getting something after losing everything. she loves thrifting and finding things that are to her esthetic, but she doesn’t have the luxury of picking exactly what she wants. she has to make due with what is affordable to her and worth the value. wabi sabi. i can have a perfectly manicured home to my liking, but she hasn’t always had the luxury. even though she has it now, i don’t think she thinks so. but this is a digression. so back to sacramento. i’m finding that i really do need very little clothing. i’ve survived off of the few things i’ve brought up and a few of ernest’s dad’s old shirts. and with things like furniture and household items. i obviously have way too much because i have been able to take a lot of things from kempton and put them in sac — why did i have two of everything? and i’ve been learning to being okay with mismatched furniture and just making due with it, making it my own even though it’s not exactly what i would normally do and can easily manicure to my liking. made me think of my mom and how she would just find things and then make them her own in her home. she has a great eye for things usually and it made me understand her aesthetic more deeply. its much more meaningful than how i purchase things. it stems from necessity and i both admire and appreciate that. <3